Marimite: The Aftermath
by ThisAccountIsNowInactive354085
Summary: Purely parody, not meant to be taken seriously people! Most usual pairings. Please read and please don't review just to say you don't like how I parodied certain things. Other than that, enjoy xD


**Marimite: The Aftermath**

**Notes: This is a parody, and therefore not meant to be taken seriously. This takes place after the events in the ANIME, because I found the light novel translations impossible to read and therefore didn't bother reading them, kind of like Oedipus Rex. Unfortunately, the Marimite light novels aren't featured on Sparknotes.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine! Just wanted to have a bit of fun with the characters.**

After graduating from Lillian, Yumi moved to New York, realizing that was where you had to go if you wanted to go anywhere, and pursued and acting career. She had stopped wearing her hair in pigtails a long time ago after reading various Youtube comments stating that she looked 'tottaly s3xy w/o them lolololol', and now dressed in a 'risqué' manner that would have given the head sister at Lillian a stroke (not that it could ever be traced back to Yumi or anything, because the head sister was kind of old). Swinging her legs off the bed that had just materialized, having had no prior mention whatsoever, Yumi got up and immediately face-planted into the floor.

Right. Well, SOME things had changed.

"Yumi?" came a husky, tired voice from the bed that Yumi had just fallen out of. Yumi instantly got to her feet, blushing and laughing in an embarrassed manner as Touko stared at her with one eyebrow raised. You see, with the fourth season of Marimite out and all, a few things had become apparent to Yumi. First, that Jesus would make his second coming before her onee-sama made a move, and then that Touko/Yumi was gaining popularity, and FAST. The fact that Touko was totally hot in a broken, tsundere kind of way like that one guy from Twilight, the b3st l0ve st0ry ov all time lolol 33333 had absolutely NOTHING to do with Yumi's decision, of course. So she broke things off with Sachiko (not that she really had anything to break off, but Sachiko had one of her hysterical, princessy moments anyway and fainted from shock then went and got it on with her gay cousin to 'heal the pain') and set out to seduce Touko, borrowing Yuuki's leather jacket and a Ke$ha cd to create the mood, and Yumi was happy with the way things had turned out.

Yumi jumped as a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and started pulling her back towards the bed. "Come back to bed, _onee-sama.._"

VERY happy.

As for Sei, she had gone to Lillian University and played the field, or, as the head sister liked to call it, "defiled the immaculate population of the Lillian schools, and in front of Maria-sama, no less! Have you no shame?"

And then she had a stroke and died, partially because she'd had to deal with Sei for far too long. But mostly because she was kind of old.

Then one day Sei had been walking around campus, depressed because she had already slept with practically all the girls there except Kanako because Sei wasn't into 'that kind of thing', and suddenly realized that OMG she had been in love with Youko for like, her entire LIFE! So she called Youko who conveniently hadn't found love because she's one of those characters who is doomed if they can't have their first love, kind of like Miyuki and Tamao from Strawberry Panic, (but not Yaya 'cuz she's a pimp and totally hooked up with her own tsundere) and they had sex like rabbits and lived happily ever after because gay bashing doesn't exist in Marimite 'cuz that would fuck up the whole storyline and make it all complicated and realistic.

Rei and Yoshino still haven't admitted their feelings for each other, even though Yoshino has, if possible, been giving Rei even more 'subtle' hints, because Rei just can't get over that 'cousins' thing. Pssh. But Yoshino is as patient as she can possibly be, which admittedly isn't much, realizing that some people just have 'things' that take time to get over. For example, some people can't deal with being gay, and some people are afraid of commitment. Yoshino figures that this weird issue Rei has with them being related is just some phase that'll blow over in time.

Noriko and Shimako had gotten together back in high school, because waiting to have sex until marriage and that whole 'gays burn in hell' thing was a Catholic view. They moved to New York, but hadn't been as lucky as Yumi, so Shimako sometimes 'danced' at shady clubs to make the month's rent.

Eriko, being understandably concerned that her popularity rating had fallen so low (she was the second least popular character on the show, next to that one guy that Eriko was in love with and Kanako, who was just creepy), had recently become situationally bicurious, or 'gay for pay', as she liked to call it, realizing that hetero 'just wasn't in right now'. She was sitting in the park one day, researching, AKA watching Ellen Degenerous and Glee on her iPod when something in the distance caught her attention. Looking up, she was surprised (but not really, because this is Marimite and the whole plotline thrives on these convenient meetings, but being the polite person she is, Eriko ACTED surprised) to see Sachiko Ogasawara a few yards away, muttering something about being 'dangerous' and 'a monster' and how '_I _was supposed to get the girl! It was in the damn book!' for some reason. Seeing that the lonely, brooding, sexy beast of an heiress (who was sparkling for some weird reason) was up for grabs, she sauntered up to her, looked her up and down, and, invoking the power of Jane Lynch, Samantha Rosnan and Chikane Himemiya, said, "How YOU doin'?

The end.

Oh, yeah, and as for that one guy that Eriko was in love with, he died for no apparent reason because the author couldn't be bothered to think something up, and also nobody even liked him because he was a guy, and wasn't even gay or anything. Pssh.

The (real) end…or…the beginning!


End file.
